Pictures Throughout His Life  (158 so for, more coming soon)

Pictures Taken & Posted By Bryan And Ruthie Last Year

Pictures Taken By Judy Stilson At The Hospital

Pictures Of Tony & Tori's Baby Boy Xander aka "X" (these were taken by the hospital the day he left)

A Celebration Of A Life

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free

I’m following the path God laid for me.

I took His hand when I heard Him call

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day

To laugh, to love, to work or play,

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void

Then fill it with remembered joy,

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss

Ah yes, these things, I too will miss

Be not burdened with times of sorrow

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow,

My life’s been full, I savored much,

Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;

Don’t lengthen it with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me

Kelly was at my house in Bellevue shortly after buying his first guitar in years.  He was giving us a demonstration of how much he had learned while he was in Sheridan Federal Correctional Facility.

His talent had come a long way during his time there.  He used to be more concerned with ripping off fat lead solos and less focused on keeping with the rhythm of the song.  He had since developed the ability to not only stay with the direction of the music, but was writing some killer tunes that sounded excellent.  And his riffs were as tight as ever.

All of us who knew and loved him will miss him greatly, especially me.  The last ten years of so of his life we weren't as close as we once were in the respect of talking about what was bothering him and/or what his struggles were.  I know that it was because of my inability to understand that particular addiction, and living long distances away from him.  He was also the type of person that wouldn't have wanted to fill me in on the details of his life because he wouldn't  have wanted to burden me because he felt my plate was already pretty full.  Personally, I wish he would have burdened me a lot more because I end up feeling that there was a lot more I could have done to support him when he was ready to get clean.

This song was written by Kelly while he was in Sheridan.  It was about Steve Kost who died while Kelly was inside.  Brett, the singer in Kelly's band in Sheridan has said that they played this song frequently.  The terms "Dirty" and "Clean" were not only a reference to the state of addiction, but also an allusion to the way they did the riffs in the song...

Kelly & Steve Are Together Again... as well as Chris Deaton, Flip, Joel Silveson, Joe B(?), Steve Dalstrom, John Robberts (there are many more that are slipping my ancient mind at this time.  Help me people, I would like to acknowledge them all at this place...)

Close the door, kill the lights

Another sad and lonely night

Lost another friend again

An overdose of heroin

I close my eyes and fall asleep

And think of you and start to weep

A precious life, a tragic death

Your ashen face I won’t forget

            “Dirty”

I wake up to a haunting thought

The times we laughed, the times we fought

The muddy water in our veins

I feel the anger, feel the pain

            “Clean”

Now I’ve come to realize

There is no compromise

Part time users don’t exist

An evil drug is all it is

            “Dirty”

Let me say this also, I greatly appreciate all of the friends and family that showed up for his service.  The people who spoke said a lot that helped to enlighten those of his family that felt they didn't know him well and were very sad because of that.  They were able to see that Kelly was not one of the addicts that are displayed on TV as total losers with unscrupulous values and morals.  Despite his addiction, he still kept his friends and family most important in his life and we all knew what we meant to him.  Thank you all for being there, he would have been very proud of all of you.  Especially those of you who traveled great distances and others who are still fighting an addiction.  I know that took great courage to be there and it didn't go unnoticed.

MUSICAL PLAYLIST

Ride On - AC/DC

Dirt - Alice In Chains

Laguna Sunrise - Black Sabbath

Serenity - Godsmack

Torn - Creed

Planet Caravan - Black Sabbath

Tourniquet - Marilyn Manson

Lucretia - Megadeth

Fade To Black - Metallica

Running Blind - Godsmack

Chloe Dancer/Crown Of Thorns - Mother Love Bone

Cemetery Gates - Pantera

Solitude - Black Sabbath

Black - Pearl Jam

Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

My son, Kelly, has taught me a lot about love and the value of friendship.  I am so full of gratitude that he was in my life, and sorry that I couldn’t guide him toward a happier life.  I did a lot of things wrong as a parent, and if I’d shared at the memorial, I might have spent too much time talking about that, and about my guilt.  I wanted the memorial to be about the positive aspects of his life and the love he shared with all of his friends.  And I loved the memorial.  I also loved the three days in the hospital with his friends, hearing stories of his loving personality.  I knew that he had a gift for friendship, and that his friends were very important to him, but hearing the stories was a special gift.

          I am very proud of who he was, and am pleased that he is now in a happier place, even though I will miss him.  He’s run his race, completed his mission.  I know I will see him again.  In the meantime, I hope his friends will be united in promoting his spirit of love, and I applaud Lisa Johnson’s scholarship program for musicians.  Life can be hard sometimes, but is eased when we help another.

          Judy Stilson (mother number one)

HERE'S A LINK to some photos she took while Kelly was in the hospital, and also some from another memorial put on by Ivy.

Kevin, thank you for putting up the web site about Kelly’s life. I found it after Judy told me about it. She had previously told me about the other web site which I visited several times and read. It’s history for me now as I deleted the reference from my browser and will visit it no more.

I have been depressed the past several days and couldn’t figure out why. I have been doing well psychologically for quite awhile and this new adverse feeling threw me. I started wondering if perhaps I should start considering medication. But then I found your site and what Bryan had written and now I realize that I had just been experiencing what he and others had felt. I’m sure that you felt this more so since you were in written dialogue with this person.

The reaction I had to this others persons site was insidious pretty much as Bryan described. It got a hold of me and wouldn’t let go. Not a raging fire but smoldering burning sensation that was always there. It was slowly and quietly eating away at my psychological well being. I couldn’t figure out why someone would do something like that. I’ll never be able to explain it to myself but now I know how do deal with it. Bryan’s words made the most sense to me.

The other web site is the result of a sick mean little mind. I refuse to dignify it by visiting it anymore or even thinking about it. Kelly’s memorial was one of the most memorable and wonderful moments of my life. I would not have been anywhere else in the world on that day. I had not known that he touched so many people’s lives. I was proud of him and glad for his success in the lives of others. I will always think of Kelly in a positive light.

I was speaking to your dad at the memorial and I mentioned to him that you were an amazing success story. You pulled yourself up against tremendous odds to become the person that you are today. I have heard you talk about luck or good fortune in turning your life around but luck had nothing to do with it. It was only by the force of your character and what you have accomplished is one of the most difficult things there is to achieve in life. For those who make this transformation there are countless others who do not. I know that you're still a work in progress as we all are, but you have come a long ways and it is only you who deserves the credit.

I think Kelly might have been able to turn his life around as well but now we will never know since his life was cut short. Still he made a huge impression in the lives of others. I am proud to call him my nephew.

Your Uncle Jim

Starla Fauvelle wrote something about Kelly that she wanted to share with all those that cared about him...

Hi, I’ve known KELLY for a long time. When I was little he would come over with Sammie and I would play with her at the apartment park and he would make us mashed potatoes and a bagel. Yea I know it’s a different mix but that’s what it was. I loved it. Its a good mix. Also when I was little he would always call me the “light of my life” and I’m not even related to him in any way. He liked so many people and cared about them even if they weren’t related. I didn’t see him for a while, then about a month ago I saw him at my uncles and he gave me a hug and said “remember your the light of my life”.  I really didn’t think that he would remember that but he did. It made me smile and happy to see that someone I haven’t seen in SO long and had no contact with him still remembered something he said at least 6 years ago. Well Kevin…thanks for doing this site. Just hang in there.

KELLY WE ALL LOVE YOU AND WE’RE GONNA MISS YOU!
.:.~.:.Starla.:.~.:.

Hi All,
(see pics at the end for those who hate to read)
CONGRATS!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLA
The cycle of life continues.. One more bouncing bambino! THE LOFT'S ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY TO RULING THE WORLD--OR AT LEAST THE GREATER SEATTLE AREA! Shit, little Tony beats me again!! That's why I don't gamble with Tony!

I will never forget the excitement I felt when Starla, and then Erin, (Vanilla Ice Thomson or Orum?) was born. My wife reminded me how much I talked and bragged about little Starla--as if she were my own. It is probably hard for all you to understand--especially the Lofts, just how much I love and admire you all--I love big and loyal families!!! There is nothing like it, short of feeling as though I am a part of one--yours families--myself...I would say we are all truly family--we lived together, cry together, laugh together, die together and we have children together. The bonds are forever untethered!!!


What Ruthie said after she first heard me describing the Lofts has never left me--amazing as that sounds. Shortly after we met I launched into a barrage of colorful stories involving such things as:
Mysterious adventures in Saudi Arabia and elsewhere with Jerry LOFT, a Canadian border fiasco turnaround trip with John LOFT, (I mean, WHO gets the boot from Canada for Christ's sake & all we were doing was going to visit Jerry in Vancouver BC anyway) beating Hodgkin's disease along side Kevin LOFT, Numerous apartments, crash pads, and houses of dubious business affairs with Jerry LOFT, long heart-to-heart talks with Jami LOFT over Matthea and her amorous love for all the LOFTS, Jami Loft's animated hands and beautiful smile and infectious laugh, Toni LOFT and his famous baseball card collection sold for more beer, John LOFT carrying me around as I went from The Tort to Biggie to the "Buckler" with the wobbly knees; as well as the typical Ave antics, including a meter key task force and a real hippie dippy magic bus that came through the Ave like a school bus for winos hell bent on swooping up the U Crew for a keg in Cowen Park, along with the odd run-a-way or two, all of which were inevitably sprung on at least one of the Lofts, and of course on one of the Stilsons, if not more at one time or another.

Then there was Starla, an Angel I bragged on 24/7 to the point Ruthie began to wonder if I were possibly the father--No, not really--Hell, I was almost as excited about Erin, Matthea's boy whom arrived much later! I very well may have been just as excited if I had actually seen him for myself. I did manage to speak with Matthea right after she gave birth though!. Remember, I had actually seen Starla with my own eyes and talked with her and took her to the store...and look at her today! Just as beautiful as ever and right in there sticking up for Kelly when the heat was one--YOU ARE TRUE U CREW through and through!!!

Anyway, Ruthie says to me jokingly, but with a deadpan expression, "Who or what are the "Loft's anyway? Some sort of secret organization? Are they some new gang or underground crime syndicate or does Loft have some hidden meaning?" was how I think she put it. I always thought it was funny--i was drinking heavily back then and laughed at most things, but it has managed to stick in my mind all these years--and their seems to be some truth to her analogy. I mean you Loft's really have something special--you are always together or know where one another is and what they are up to. You protect each other. Hell, you are the model for a great many of us to strive for! Do not get your head's all swollen I am just saying it is nice to see family work like yours and I consider myself an honorary Loft/Stilson/Kost/Galbreth/Sternen!

Love you all and see ya in July,

Bryan and Ruthie